Thursday, 2 August 2012

I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry.

I've been...lost, for a while. A long while. Years, maybe. You can't understand a situation when you're at the centre of it. You can't see fog while you are in the middle of it.

I'm not sure what's safe anymore. Home isn't, school isn't. Being awake or asleep or dreaming or Dreaming isn't. My parents aren't safe, my siblings aren't safe. Tik is...dead, I think. I sent an email to H, of "My Name Was H", but he was compromised himself in an attempt to help me.

I don't know why I matter so much, that He That Is hasn't just given up and moved on to somebody more useful.

My dreams are normal now. I coma'd out for three days, spent two and a half weeks remembering jack shit about all this, and now I feel...fine. Normal. Better than I've ever felt, really. I mean, I still hallucinate- vividly- but I feel less tired, less powerless.

I get the feeling something awful is about to happen.


  1. Just stay strong. I'll do what I can to help.

  2. Nothing has ever been safe. Thats life. Its a thing people struggle through not safe or easy or fair. Do your best. Thats all you can do

  3. We are with you, Ari. I wish you luck.