tick, tock

I'm so tired.

I want to close my eyes, fall back and spiral down into blissful, dreamless oblivion.

I want to

s l e ep/...

nightmare orchestra

I can't tell when I'm waking or sleeping anymore.

I've been posting every day since last wednesday, but I'm not sure if any of them are going through. I'm pretty sure I'm awake now cause I just cut my own throat in my dream and now I'm in my room, so I'm typing this before I lose more time. According to Tik I'm functioning normally from the outside, but I never know if I'm in the dream world or not until I take a leap of faith and swan-dive out the window or stab myself in the gut.

I don't necessarily have to die in the dream world to snap back out of it, I just need to hurt myself, but nonfatal wounds stay with me when I wake up. My school counsellor is trying to get me to see a psychologist about my "self-harm."